Friends... do we NEED them?
Mary Rensel 
What if the longest study on living a satisfying life shows us a simple clear answer? Our connections are the source of our health and happiness!
What if the messages that we hear at work and in our culture are absolutely wrong regarding health and happiness in life? We hear our salary will determine our happiness. We hear working harder will lead to more success and happiness. We hear that our success in adding more titles to our resume will lead to happiness. The great news is that those messages are way off track. I have a big week this week, a meeting called CMSC, where those that support those living with MS come together to learn, share their research, teach and support each other. It is an exciting, invigorating environment. Its’ mission and offerings have grown over the years to be an innovative energetic community. Anticipating; all the colleagues and friends I will see at this meeting, the new science I will learn, presenting with awesome colleagues the new tools I will bring home and use in my MS Clinic fills me with excitement and gratitude to the organizers and all the attendees. I am also grateful for the longest ever study on what brings us health, happiness and meaning in our life, the Havard study. It helps us focus on what matters, connections! At CMSC I feel truly connected to a mission based community.
I love when impactful studies lead to fun and simple suggestions to bring more smiles into my life. Sometimes the results of studies are so positive and doable, it is hard to believe. We get to focus on building positive fun relations with others and realize there are no “quick fixes” for happiness, instead a satisfying life needs secure growing connections.
The Harvard study showed that those with healthy positive connections lead a happier and satisfying life.
Salary, time at work, degrees... all of those were NOT the key.
The key was positive healthy relationships.
According to Dr. Waldinger, the Psychiatrist who directs the 75 year Harvard study, it is important that we take these study results and focus on connections to help folks with happiness and health.
He suggests we put our time and energy toward our relationships.
The great news is that connecting with others is the key and it is super hard these days due to the pace of medicine.
Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED
The 3 lessons that Dr. Waldinger shared from the Harvard research in his TED talk;
1. “Loneliness kills”- when more connected to friends, family and community, they live longer and healthier. 1/5 Americans report they are lonely.
2. The quality of the close relationships matter, conflict is bad for our health. Good warm relationships are protective. Satisfaction of the relationship can buffer us from trials in life.
3. Good relationships protect our brains, a secure attached relationship helped brain health and cognition in the Harvard study. Good relationships did not mean perfection, it meant that they could count on each other.
He reminded us there are no quick fixes, relationships are messy and not glamorous, it is lifelong, it never ends.
He had tips for us:
More people time, less screen time
Call a friend, go for a walk
Call that estranged person, build bridges.
Try a new activity with your partner or friends, that build relationships.
Build “playmates” even as adults, make time to build new friendship
Off to play golf with friends… my “playmates”.
Call a friend today.
Be a friend today.
Share with a friend or a colleague that you appreciate, acknowledge that they are helping your health and happiness grow.
Reach out with any questions.
Mary
thebrainfresh@gmail.com
Enjoy the video on the power of connections and clarity. Let me know your best take away.
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Dr. Mary Rensel is the founder of Brain Fresh 🧠, which seeks to support busy professionals through transitions, helping them stay agile and centered 🌟. Brain Fresh focuses on brain priming with fun 🎉, fine-tuning 🎯, and protection from distraction 🚫. It teaches aligning with strengths and gifts 🎁, belonging to a supportive team 🤝, and designing next steps with a focus on building a supportive team 👥, managing anger 😡, and taking courageous action 💪. Dr. Rensel aims to help participants feel clear on next steps ✨, focused 🎯, and re-energized 🔋 to navigate challenges.
By participating in/reading my coaching service/website/blog/email series, you acknowledge that my services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Coaching is in no way to be construed or substituted as psychological counseling or any other type of therapy or medical advice. I will at all times exercise my best professional efforts, skills and care. However, I cannot guarantee the outcome of coaching efforts and/or recommendations on my website/blog/email series and my comments about the outcome are expressions of opinion only. I cannot make any guarantees other than to deliver the coaching services purchased as described.
Categories: : anxiety, brain tips, building skills, burnout, coach